I know, I know. I have no news to anyone for quite a little bit. I have not responded to messages from mom and dad. I have not written to my friends who wonder what I get. I have tons of emails late. It is not long out of the village, did not go see anyone.
I'm in a weird mood, withdrawn, introspective, very, very emotional. I try to take time for myself, but it works too because I have a thousand things in mind, I feel bad for not doing what I have to do to let go, procrastinating, being late. .. Everything is a bit messy in my work and my home head. I just feel not quite there.
Maybe it's just between the two, the winter that never ends, the anguish of the future, decisions on what's coming, the uncertainty of what will happen, not knowing exactly what I want. I feel like a spring and renewal, but it is not there yet, far (in the words recement Soule Mama so beautifully). But at the same time I want to stay hidden under the snow in a snug corner.
Winter is still present. We had a lot of snow early February. Enough to be mid-thigh when I walk through the forest to get to the village.
enough for Johnny gets up early morning to watch his "gat-o-meter" to see if a large cake of snow was formed to go into ss-ski.
enough to spend Saturday afternoon outside to make snowman with boyfriends to me.
One evening a few hours, we ended up buried under more snow fell in 30centimètre few hours. A deluge large flakes, a winter storm with écliars and thunder, trees are laden with extra heavy snow and son too heavy electrical minor faults that cause intermittent. 30 centimeters of wet snow shoveling at midnight tonight so that Johnny can go gos Your Ride in the course when returning from a show. 30 centimeters of snow on the metal roof of the house that cause avalanches and create snow drifts higher than the window level.
Then it rained, snowed and re-. We had a few days for us to look forward to the spring of warm days above zero that make you want to smile again.
I must give myself a little kick in the butt instead of remaining passive, buried under the snow to do anything other than what I feel I have to do. I just updated a bit and feel that all is well and that everything is under control.
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